If you posted a question to us in the last couple of months then please look below for your answer. If you want to see some of the questions that have previously been answered then click the links below.
NEW Question (posted March 2010)
I have been on the pill since I was 17 (I’m 21 now) and have had a few problems with periods either being really light or not coming at all, but I was told it was normal, and obviously haven’t had any major pregnancies scares. I have been with my current boyfriend now for 2 years, and we have been having sex from the beginning. About a month ago I started a new pill because my other pill had almost stopped my periods and so my doctor changed them so I would have regular periods. However I was meant to start my period about 3 days ago and I have had no signs of it starting. There were a few occasions when I forgot to take my pill, but only by 2-3 hours or so. The last time I had sex with my boyfriend was about 6 days ago when I was still on my pill. I’m worried because I’m not sure if it is just the new pill which has affected my period (because I have heard that the first few weeks/months you period might irregular) or if I am pregnant. Is there any possibility I might be pregnant?
Answer
If you haven't been more than 12 hours late in taking the pill, or been sick or taken other tablets such as antibiotics that might affect your pill, then it is very unlikely that it has failed. From what you are saying it doesn't sound like you are pregnant and it is more likely that it is the pill that is affecting your period cycle. You can always double check with a pregnancy test to put your mind at rest.
NEW Question (posted March 2010)
How do apply for a C Card?
Answer
Look on this website to find your nearest Registration point and go along. They will see you and register you into the scheme.
NEWQuestion (posted March 2010)
Where can I register for a C Card in Herne Bay or Canterbury?
Answer
You need to look on this website for the nearest Registration Point for C Card and go along. Both the young person's/contraceptive clinics in Canterbury and Herne Bay will do this and the young person's clinic at the Friendship Centre in Herne Bay on a Tuesday afternoon will also register you. Click here for local information on the C Card
Question (posted February 2010)
Will the morning after pill work after the 24hours still?
Answer
The one that is generally used as emergency contraception at the moment is able to be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. The sooner you take it, the higher the chance that it will work and the nearer you get to 72 hours the less likely it is to work. Nothing is 100% effective and a regular method of contraception used properly, is still more effective than taking emergency contraception.
Question (posted February 2010)
I took the morning after pill last month because I missed my pill then I came on my period 5 days later. I did exactly the same this time. Missed the pill took the morning after pill BUT why am I not on my period. Tried a pregnancy test and said negative ... HELP.
Answer
You haven't said which type of pill you are on. If it is the type that you take for 3 weeks then have a week off (or take 7 dummy pills), then was the bleeding you had at your normal time for having a withdrawal bleed from the pill? If it wasn't then it may have been down to the time in the pill cycle that you missed a pill. Did you then have your normal bleed on your week off as well? This time if you missed a pill maybe it was at a different time in the packet. The emergency pill is not designed to bring on a period, it works by either delaying the egg from being released from the ovary, or by making the conditions inside the womb unacceptable to have a have a fertilised egg implanted.
If you are taking the type of pill you take every day and never stop or have dummy pills, then sometimes periods can be irregular with these methods anyway.
Occasionally people bleed a little bit after taking emergency contraception and then their period comes as normal. Sometimes periods are delayed by a couple of days if you have taken this pill. There is no point doing a pregnancy test until at least two weeks after the time you could have conceived, probably 3 weeks would be better. If you haven't had a normal period by then, repeat the test.
As you keep forgetting pills, why don't you go and see a nurse or doctor and discuss a method of contraception that will keep you safer and avoid having to remember a pill on a daily basis.
Question (posted February 2010)
My boyfriend keeps getting hot around the bottom of his penis at night which he would scratch, then he got a hernia, by this time there was a horrible rash he said the doctors said it was to do with the hernia, he was given antibiotics and everything is ok now but at the time my boyfriend said it could be mistaken for a sexual disease. I didn’t think anything about it until now as I found 1 of your free and confidential cards with the GUM Clinic circled on it and that he has slept with 3 people behind my back that I know of. Please can you help?
Answer
I have to start with saying that I don't understand why he is still your boyfriend as he keeps sleeping with other people behind your back. Are you really prepared to be treated like this? Obviously you have to make your own decisions, but I feel that you are worth more than this. There has to be love, trust and respect in a relationship. You may love him, but do you trust him and does he respect you.
That's said, let’s deal with the Sexual Health bit of this question. I have never heard of a Hernia causing the symptoms you are describing. A rash might have come from antibiotics, but you don't treat a hernia with these either. Antibiotics are for treating infections. The symptoms you describe could be a skin infection, they could be due to an allergy and they could also be due to a sexually transmitted infection. As you have found a card from the GUM clinic it could mean that he has been for a check up or he could just have it for information. I think you need to talk to your boyfriend and see what he has to say, but more importantly go to the GUM clinic yourself for a full screen in view of the fact that you know he has had sex with other people. Suggest he goes with you so you can both make sure you are free from infection. Then you need to decide about how/if you want the relationship to carry on.
Question (posted February 2010)
Hi I’m 17, I was watching sex: how to do every thing and they were talking about Prostate Massage, what’s prostate? Should I be doing it or not? Thank you
Answer
I'm not sure what you were watching, but the only health information about Prostate massage relates to much older men who are suffering from a condition called Prostititus, which is inflammation of the Prostate Gland. It does not seem to be based on any scientific evidence, but some men claim it reduces any pain associated with the problem.
The Prostate Gland is a gland that sits at the base of the bladder and produces some of the fluid in semen. If it gets enlarged when men are older then it can cause difficulty in passing urine. There is no reason at all for you to try and do this.
Question (posted February 2010)
I’ve been off my injection for three months now and I am still not on what should I do?
Answer
If you are using another method of contraception and are sure there has been no risk of pregnancy then there is no need to do anything at all. It can often take several months for periods to return after stopping the injection, so 3 months is nothing to worry about. If they have not returned within a year of the last injection, then pop along and have a chat to a Doctor or nurse about it.
Question (posted February 2010)
If I have had unprotected sex, how likely is it that I will become pregnant even though I took the morning after pill within 24 hours?
Answer
The figure quoted for how effective emergency contraception is that it is 95% effective if you take it within 24 hours. That means that 5% of the time it will not work. However you may not have fallen pregnant anyway after that episode of unprotected sex. There are only a few days during a woman's period cycle when she is fertile, but sperm can live inside a woman's body in the right conditions for 5 - 7 days. There is never an absolutely "safe" time, but the nearer you are to your next period, the less likely it is that you will fall pregnant.
Question (posted February 2010)
Hi, when you use your C Card how many condoms do you get?
Answer
This will depend upon your age and possibly the supplies they have available at the C Card Access point. The people running the Access and Registration points have been given written guidance, so why not ask them next time you pick up condoms.
Question (posted February 2010)
Is it true that you can take 2 Microgynon 30 pills, one morning and one evening, that can stop your period? For example if you wanted to stop it for a holiday. Can you do that when you have Implanon?
Answer
You don't need to take two combined oral contraceptive pills to stop a period for a holiday. Continuing with one pill a day as normal over your week off the pills will delay a period. So basically you are taking two packs without a break for a week in the middle. This works for most people but not for absolutely everyone. If you have an Implant in and wish to not have a period while you are on holiday. Speak to a Doctor or nurse about getting either one months supply of the pill or they may be able to prescribe some other hormone treatment to stop a period.
Question (posted February 2010)
Hi, I’m 15 and I have had this weird thing for about 2 years. Basically, pretty much all the time I get the feeling I come (I'm a girl by the way) I get this white/transparent liquid. It comes whenever, (at school etc) even when I’m not thinking about anything to do with sex. I haven't dared asking anyone what it is because I’m scared to be laughed at, because it seems quite unusual. As well as this, I have a boyfriend and because I’m 15 I have obviously thought about having oral sex, but I’m scared he'll get freaked out :( .. Please help me, can I even stop this? Is it just puberty? Because none of my friends seem to have this, it's stopping me from doing stuff and it is really frustrating.
Answer
What I think you are describing could be the normal mucous that is produced at the entrance to the womb (the cervix). At different times of the monthly period cycle the mucous changes. Most of the time it is whitish/opaque colour and a little thicker than at the time your body is producing it's monthly egg. At this time the mucous becomes more watery and clearer. It is not an infection and all women get it to some degree. Some seem to notice it more than others. It shouldn't be smelly or itchy. If a woman has a vaginal discharge that is either of these things then she may have a vaginal infection (not an STI) like thrush. These are easily treated so she needs to talk to a chemist or see a nurse or doctor. The other type of discharge produced is secretions at the entrance to the vagina that are produced when someone is sexually aroused to prepare them for intercourse. This could occur when you are with your boyfriend, even though you are not intending to have sex with him at the moment, because you like him and have strong emotions and many sexual feelings. I think what you are describing is normal though and try to stop being so anxious about it.
Question (posted February 2010)
Should I shave my pubes if I’m gonna have sex?
Answer
Absolutely no need to shave anything down there unless you want to and if you do, be careful and shaving will make it very itchy when it starts to grow back.
Question (posted February 2010)
I think I’m a lesbian, is it okay? I really fancy my friend and I think she likes me too. She also keeps talking about dildos, but what are they?
Answer
Whether someone is straight or gay the important thing is that it feels right for them so of course it is OK if that is how you feel. Just be aware though that if you are young, this time of thinking about your sexuality can be quite confusing and people don't always know who they are straight away. There is nothing wrong with that either. Feeling that you are straight and then changing your mind is OK and so is they other way round. What is also important is that whatever relationship you are in, it is with someone you trust and care about. Dildos are a slang name for vibrators which are often thought of as sex toys. All sex toys need to be washed and kept clean etc after use.
Question (posted February 2010)
Hi, me and my girlfriend are thinking of trying anal play is they anything we need to know before we do it?
Answer
Anal sex is considered to be one of the more risky sexual activities because it can cause anal tears, fistulas and a greater risk of infection. The anus was not designed for this activity. If you are both fully in agreement with this then make sure you use a condom with lots of water based lubricant and agree to stop at any time if either of you want to. Do not have anal sex and then go onto have vaginal sex without using a new condom.
Question (posted February 2010)
What is lube? Is it a kind of moisturiser?
Answer
Lube is a shortened term for the word lubricant. In sexual health terms it is often used to make sex more pleasurable and sometimes easier for sexual intercourse to occur. All sorts of things can be used as a lubricant, such as massage oils, but if someone is using it on their genital area then care needs to be taken as this is a very sensitive area. Also if you are using this and using normal latex condoms then the lube must be a water based one not an oil based one.
Question (posted February 2010)
Hello, I’m 17 and pregnant. I don't think I’m ready for a baby. I have spoke to my boyfriend and he wants the baby, but I don't. Should I have an abortion or not?
Answer
The only person who can decide whether or not you continue with this pregnancy is you. It is great that your boyfriend wants to support you but he is not the one who is pregnant. Even with brilliant support from the babies' father, the greatest impact on someone's life will be to the mother's life especially during the pregnancy, birth and in the early years. If you are still early in the pregnancy then take a little time to think about how much this will affect you and what support you will need and have from family and friends. Lots of teenagers make great parents, but for many it is not the right time and everyone has to make their own individual decision. You can go and talk your options through at a young person's clinic and you can find out the nearest one to you by looking on the clinics section on this web site.
Question (posted February 2010)
Me and my boyfriend have recently started exploring oral sex. Neither of us have ever had any form of sexual relationship with another partner. I was just wondering whether it is possible for either of us to either already have or possibly catch some form of STI from each other regardless of this. Any advice greatly appreciated
Answer
If neither of you have ever had any sexual contact with anyone else then you are not at risk of catching a STI. However the virus that causes cold sores is a type of Herpes virus and can be transferred to the genitals. So if either of you suffer with cold sores, don't have oral sex if you have an active one.
Question (posted February 2010)
What’s a willy?
Answer
This is a slang term for a man’s penis.
Question (posted February 2010)
I'm 12 and I haven't started my period yet, but all my friends have. When I go to the toilet sometimes, it feels like it's about to happen, but then it doesn't, is this a sign it might happen soon? And should I carry/wear pads regularly just in case?
Answer
Please don't worry about not starting your periods yet. Lots of young women don't start them until they are 13, 14 or even older. You are perfectly normal and yes it could start at any time. I would think that it is very sensible to carry a pad with you just in case, but not to wear one. Why not carry a spare pair of knickers as well then you won't be worried about staining etc if you start while you are out.
Question (posted February 2010)
I’m 13 and my boyfriend is 14 we are a very 'close' couple and we really love each other. Should I get a C Card just in case we become too close? I don't want my parents knowing.
Answer
At 13 and 14 you are still very young and remember sex is still illegal under the age of 16. It is great that you have such a close relationship, but don't either of you feel pressured into going further unless you are absolutely sure it is what you want and you are prepared to take responsibilities for protecting yourselves against pregnancy etc. Many young people claim they are having sex when actually the average age for first sex is over 16. If you do want more advice please go and talk to a nurse at a young people's clinic. This service is free and confidential and you can find out where your nearest one is, by looking under the clinics/services section on this website.
Question (posted January 2010)
If I have already been to the doctors and picked my implant up, the doctors cant fit me in for an appointment. Where can I have the implant done?
Answer
The implant can be fitted at one of the family planning clinics, ring your local clinic and talk to them about it, they may need you to go for an appointment for an assessment then for a fitting appointment. You have to have an appointment made for implant fitting, as not all clinics can fit the implant.
Question (posted January 2010)
Where can I get the implant done? I already have the implant I just need a nurse to place the implant in my skin I am already on my period. My doctors have got no appointments and I really need to have the implant done before I come off my period.
Answer
Contact your local family planning clinic and book an appointment to see the nurse, not all clinics fit the implant, so you do need to make an appointment, you usually need 2 appointments, one for the assessment and one for the fitting.
Question (posted January 2010)
I'm a girl of 16 and really want to sleep with my boyfriend, but I'm worried about bleeding or being too tight. How can I get around this?
Answer
Before you have sex with your boyfriend, make sure you have both talked about it, are you on any form of contraception? Is there any risk of infection? It would be a good idea to talk to your local clinic or GP, if you see someone in the clinic or your doctor, then you can talk through all of your worries and concerns.
Question (posted January 2010)
Do you give out free pregnancy tests?
Answer
At our local family planning clinic we do not give out free pregnancy tests. If you think you are pregnant come to the clinic and discuss it with a nurse, the nurses can do free pregnancy tests for you if they think you need one. But they are not given out to take away.
Question (posted January 2010)
What is the latest you can get an abortion after having sex?
Answer
The legal limit for an abortion is 24 weeks, if you think you are pregnant and are thinking about having an abortion then it is important that you talk to someone as soon as possible. The family planning clinics can talk to you about your choices.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hi, can you use a out of date condom or not?
Answer
No, using an out of date condom is not good. It is at high risk of splitting when you make love. You can get free condoms from your local clinic, these will be in date.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hi, when my penis is erect the foreskin stays around the head is that right or not? Thank you :)
Answer
Sometimes the foreskin can be too tight, does your foreskin move back at all? If it is painful, or you cannot ejaculate or urinate (wee) out of it, you should see your GP.
Question (posted January 2010)
I'm the person from who wrote before. Hey, my periods are normal and every 28days but now are 32days. I’m really worried now because as my period was late last month and very light and also I've missed my period this month things aren't looking to good. My period before 2010 was November 29 and then I had sex on the 22nd and 31st, came on my period on the 1st and haven't had a period since. My periods are normally always on time. Shall I go get checked again for an std? Or a pregnancy test?
Answer
I think you should go to your local clinic and get a pregnancy test and a Chlamydia test done as soon as possible, to make sure you are not pregnant.
Question (posted January 2010)
I'm 14 and I want to go on the pill without my parents knowing. Can I do this? And if so how?
Answer
Everyone is entitled to a confidential consultation whatever their age. If you are under 16 you can consent to treatment without parent's agreement or knowledge, if the Doctor or nurse feels you are mature enough to understand what they are saying and what you are doing. You can get this from either your GP or a community Contraceptive or Young Peoples clinic. You will be asked some questions about your medical history if you go to a clinic, but if it is your GP, then they will already have your records. After they have seen you and you have discussed what form of contraception is best, you can make a decision together about it.
As you are young and if you are asking for this for contraception, the nurse or doctor will need to make sure you are safe. Sex under 16 is illegal and they would need to be assured that you are not at risk of being harmed or forced into doing something you don't want to do.Even if you go on the pill you should be using condoms as well and you can get these free from a clinic. If you want to find out where the nearest one to you is you can look it up on this website.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hello, I have been on the pill (21 days on 7 day break) since august 2009. I have never missed the pill but some times taken it 2 -3 hours late and 3 -4 hours before my set time I still have a period, I am worried about taking the pill with alcohol? And also if I was to be pregnant on the pill would I still have a period or would I miss one on the 7 day break?
Answer
Sounds to me like you are doing really well with remembering your pill. 2 - 3 hours late is OK and as long as your period starts on your week off and is normal for you (remember periods on the pill are often lighter), then I would think that everything is fine. Alcohol does not affect how the pill works, but what might cause it not to work so well is if you were sick and vomited within a few hours of swallowing the pill. Then it would be like a missed pill. Some people have a small bleed at period time when they are first pregnant but generally people would not have a normal period on the pill if it had failed and they were pregnant.
Question (posted January 2010)
I have a small round wart type thing on my ball sack, what is it? What do I do?
Answer
If you think it may be a wart then you need to go along to a Genito Urinary Medicine clinic (GUM) to get it checked out and see if you need treatment.
Question (posted January 2010)
Can I get a doctors appointment without my parents ever knowing?
Answer
Young people should have the same right of confidentiality to a consultation with a health professional as any other person. Certainly within community sexual health services we would not inform parents of our client's appointments. If you are worried why don't you phone your GP surgery and ask what the policy is if it is there that you want to go.
Question (posted January 2010)
I have been on the pill for about 1 and a half maybe 2 years. I have always remembered to take them correctly, but the week before my break I forgot to take a pill and only realised when I went to take the next one the day after. So I took both of them at the same time which was stupid as I realise you should take it at least within 12hrs of the normal taking time. I am now on my break and haven't had a period, me and boyfriend haven’t had sex since I forgot to take the pill but I am still worried as my periods are usually regular. I am also not sure whether I should start taking the pill again or wait for a period? Help!!
Answer
If you are generally good at taking your pill and did not forget any for at least 7 days before the missed one then your contraception cover will be fine. You state that you have not had sex since the missed one so you won't have put yourself at risk. The advice after a forgotten or late pill, is to use condom or not have sex until you have taken a further 7 pills in a row properly. Generally we would say, don't have your week off if you are near the end of a pack, but carry on with the next strip without a break. However, as long as you don't have unprotected sex until you have taken 7 pills in a row (either the next 7 or until after the first week of pills in the next pack) you will still be fine. Taking two pills together occasionally will do no harm, but the slightly larger dose of hormone on that day could just have affected the withdrawal bleed you were due to start on your week off. Start your next pack as normal. Use condoms for 7 pill taking days and if you are still concerned check with a pregnancy test in 2 - 3 weeks time.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hello, I am 14 and was wondering if having sex the first time hurts, as I hear from my friends it is, please help?
Answer
Having sex for the first time is not always painful and many girls find the Hymen has already been stretched or broken because of things like sporting activities or using tampons. If you are relaxed and happy, are sure that having sex is really what you want to be doing, the man does not rush things and you both make sure you are well lubricated (use extra lube if needed) then it should be enjoyable. If you are tense, nervous, worried about infection or pregnancy or rushing things, then it may not go so well. First time sex is often not a brilliant experience. It takes time to learn about each others bodies, what feels pleasurable and what doesn't. Good sex is part of a loving stable, trusting relationship.
Don't have sex if you are not sure about it, make sure you agree to be able to stop at any time if something isn't going so well and make sure you are protected from pregnancy and infection. At 14 you are still very young and remember there is no rush to have sex. It is also not legal until you are 16 years old. Most young women do not start having sex until they are a few years older than you. If you are this worried about it then I would say you are probably not ready yet.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hey I had sex with my girlfriend about 1 week ago and we didn’t use a condom. I was nowhere near cumming so I said lets stop it lasted for about 2 minutes if that and I pulled out and left it. Now I don’t know if it’s just her but today she feels sick and she thinks she might be pregnant, what are the chances?
Answer
One week would be very early to get symptoms of pregnancy so I expect your girlfriend is feeling like this because she is anxious. A pregnancy test will not be accurate until a period is missed, about 2 weeks after the time the woman could have conceived. Although you feel you did not have an organism, some men produce a small amount of semen beforehand which acts like a lubricant. This has thousands of sperm in it which is why "withdrawal" or "pulling out" is not recommended as a reliable method of contraception. Unfortunately now it is a question of waiting until a period starts or a pregnancy test can be done.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hi, this may sound a bit disgusting but sometimes when I’m in the bath I can sometimes get water inside my vagina when I lay back and push my bum upwards, is this bad? It comes back out when I tense or sit up but is this dangerous? as I feel this is a good way of cleaning inside as it feels the water can only go to a certain point and no further and comes straight back out again...but I’ve heard rumours if you have sex in water you can’t have kids or you could die from it...is this true? Thanks x
Answer
There is probably no harm in getting water in your vagina, but if you use a lot of perfumed products in the bath water then this might change the normal state of the vagina and give you trouble with vaginal infections like thrush. You don't need to wash the vagina out though, as it is self cleansing. The water won't go any further than your vagina and no you won't die or put your fertility at risk from having sex in water, as long as you can still breathe!!
Question (posted January 2010)
I took the morning after pill four times in four weeks can this affect anything with having kids in the future?
Answer
There is no evidence to suggest taking the emergency contraception pill affects fertility in the future. What we know affects fertility is sexually transmitted infections such as Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea. So if you are having unprotected sex and needing the emergency pill, then you are putting yourself at risk of catching an infection. You need to be screened for infections and if your next period is late or very light then you need to check with a pregnancy test in case the emergency pills did not work. Even at its best, emergency pills are only 95% effective. Using condoms and/or another regular method of contraception properly will protect you much better. Each time you take the emergency pill you will have taken the same as 50 days worth of one of the progestogen only pills. So in 4 weeks you will have taken 200 days worth of pills. If you had taken these properly, 1 a day for 6 months, they would been 98% effective. Go and talk to someone at a clinic about what is available and what would suit you best.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hi, I’m a 13 year old girl and I am thinking about getting a C Card. I looked on the website and found out that my nearest registration point was in a doctor’s surgery. Do I need to make an appointment to get one?
Answer
I shouldn't think that you need an appointment to get a C Card but I would suggest you phone and ask. Looking at your postcode, you can also get a registered for a C Card at the Young Peoples clinic on a Monday afternoon at Piermont Pharmacy in the High Street 4 - 6 pm or at Broadstairs Contraceptive clinic at the Broadstairs Health Centre Tuesday 6 - 8 pm. You do not need an appointment at either of these places, just turn up.
Question (posted January 2010)
Do you send free condoms to houses?
Answer
No, that is not good practice. The suppliers of condoms need to be sure that the user knows about condoms and is not at risk of harm if they are young.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hey, my periods are normal and every 28days but now are 32days over the last 3 months and normally last about 5 - 6days I have also been checked for STIs and all clear :) I had sex about 2 and a half weeks ago and had also had sex the day before my period but my period was late by two days and also it is normally heavy and lasted 4days. I get headaches a lot and my breasts seem to be really heavy and giving me back pain. Help? Or am I just worrying to much?
Answer
If you have had normal to heavy periods then it is unlikely that you are pregnant. If you had a very light bleed about the time of your period then that might be worth checking out. What you are describing doesn't sound like any symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection either. Very few women have a period as regular as every 28 days; most people are often 2 or 3 days either way. Your symptoms of headaches and backache could be to do with periods and hormones, or could be something else entirely. You need to see your GP about these things.
Question (posted January 2010)
What’s a blowjob?
Answer
This is a slang term for when a woman performs oral sex on a man. This means kissing, licking and sucking his penis to get him sexually aroused and maybe bring him to orgasm when he would ejaculate.
Question (posted January 2010)
Hello, from since I can remember my sperm after ejaculation is a colourless colour and almost a snotty texture. I know it’s not an STI, but wondered if this is also a sign of being infertile. Thank you
Answer
This sounds perfectly normal to me. Why would you think you are infertile? Most men produce thousands of sperm every second and when they have an ejaculation; millions come out with the liquid. You cannot see them with the naked eye, they are so small. What you can see is the semen which is the liquid they are in. This is what you are looking at, not the sperm themselves.
Question (posted December 2009)
1)Hello I’ve been with my boyfriend now for a long time we get on so well we have both decided we want sex, I’ve gave him head before but I didn’t get turned on I’m worried that when I do have sex its not going to feel good.
2)Does it hurt when you have sex?
Answer
Having sex for the first time is not always painful and many girls find the Hymen has already been stretched or broken because of things like sporting activities or using tampons. If you are relaxed and happy, are sure that having sex is really what you want to be doing, the man does not rush things and you both make sure you are well lubricated (use extra lube if needed) then it should be enjoyable. If you are tense, nervous, worried about infection or pregnancy or rushing things, then it may not go so well. First time sex is often not a brilliant experience. It takes time to learn about each others bodies, what feels pleasurable and what doesn't. Good sex is part of a loving stable, trusting relationship. Don't have sex if you are not sure about it, make sure you agree to be able to stop at any time if something isn't going so well and make sure you are protected from pregnancy and infection.
Question (posted December 2009)
Well I’ve just turned 17 and I’m 32 weeks + 1 day pregnant! Me and my bf broke up 2 months ago. I’m finding it so hard to cope!:( Everything seems to get me down now that he has left me. It seems like he doesn’t want to know! He did say he was going to be there for baby but :( it doesn’t seem that way and now he has a new gf which has made me feel 100000 times worse :( what can I do to help me feel happier? Thank you
Answer
I'm sorry that you are having a hard time at the moment, especially when you should be looking forward to having your baby. Unfortunately this is not a sexual health query which is what this site is set up to answer but It sounds like you need some strong support from your family and friends at this moment so I hope that is happening for you. Please speak to your midwife about what help is there for you now and after the baby is born. I know there is a very supportive YAPs (Young Active Parent) group in your area and your midwife will have the details of that and maybe some support from a "Home start" volunteer. The other places that have a lot going on for young parents are the Children's Centres and the nearest one to you is probably "The Village" in Sidney Street. You may start to feel more positive if you can share your feelings with other young people who may have had similar experiences. Hope all goes well for you with the birth and that you enjoy being with your new baby.
Question (posted December 2009)
I was with my boyfriend yesterday, neither of us knew that the condom had split until 'after'. So I asked him about STIs and such, then he pulled out a piece of paper, with some STIs marked out, such as AIDS, Hep A, but with some not marked out such as HIV and Chlamydia... Then I noticed the date. It said 10/12/2005. He told me that he wasn't even in the country in 2005, he came in 2008... And he showed me a red mark on his elbow, claiming that he had the check done last week. Confused, I tried calling up 'The GR@ND' but got no response. Anyway, I called up a close friend, she advised me to go get 'the pill'. Which my boyfriend went to get for me, I couldn't even stand up, my belly was actually killing me. He came back with the pill, after trying 3 different places who refused him as I was not present, and I had forgotten all about trying to get a check of some kind. So basically, my question is: Where can I get a full STI check? I have no idea.
Answer
By "pill" I am assuming you mean the emergency contraceptive pill. I am amazed that he was able to get it for you at all, as a Pharmacist, Doctor or Nurse should not be able to give it to anyone, except the woman who needs to take it. I hope he didn't give you something else and pretend. It should have been in a small white box with the brand name on it and the instruction leaflet with it.
I don't know if what your boyfriend showed you was where he had blood taken and how do you know what tests he had done. It sounds to me that you need some proper advice. Rather than phoning go along to the Grand when it is open and talk to a nurse there about another method of contraception as well as condoms. For a full STI check up, look under the clinics section on this website for your nearest Genito Urinary Medicine (GUM) clinic. It is probably the one at Darent Valley Hospital. If you don't see a period at the time you would be expecting one you will need to get a pregnancy test.
Question (posted December 2009)
Hey I’m on the microgynon pill, and I was thinking about changing to cerazette, I’ve spoken to my nurse about it but I forgot to ask that if I did still have periods whilst I’m on cerazette, would I be able to change back to microgynon? Thanks x
Answer
A lot of people who take Cerazette do not have periods on it, but some people do bleed a bit and it can be irregular. That doesn't mean that it is not working though or that it is not a good pill. Whether you can switch back again will depend upon the reasons you wanted to stop Microgynon in the first place. If you are having problems with a particular type of pill, you will need to discuss it with a nurse or Doctor who knows about this topic of healthcare.
Question (posted December 2009)
I stayed at my mates house the other week and her bf was there, and in the night when she was asleep he came over to the sofa bed that I was sleeping on, and we did stuff...I feel really guilty and I think I might be pregnant. What can I do?
Answer
I can't change how you feel about what happened, you will have to come to terms about what you both did. However, if you didn't use contraception and had sexual intercourse then there will be a risk you could fall pregnant. If your period is late or it is more than 3 weeks since that night a pregnancy test will tell you whether you are or not. If you are pregnant then I suggest you go and see someone at a young people clinic about what your options are.
Question (posted December 2009)
I know you don't have anything to do with friendships but, I am sleeping with my best mate’s big brother, I want to tell her because it has been going on for over a year now, how can I tell her?? Please help me
Answer
Who is asking you to keep it a secret? If this relationship is a loving and caring one, then why are you and your partner hiding it from everyone? If he doesn't want everyone to know that you are his girlfriend, then ask yourself why and whether this is really the relationship you want to be in. Is he just using you for sex because if so I don't see what you are getting out of it. It is worrying you and having an effect on your friendship? You don't say how old you are, but if there is a big age difference and you are young then it could be considered abuse. Perhaps you should talk about it to someone that you trust, (maybe not your friend) to get another opinion about whether you are being treated right. Be prepared for an honest answer though and be strong enough to insist on some respect and commitment from this boy. You are having a adult relationship with him, he needs to treat you properly.
Question (posted December 2009)
Hi I don’t seem to be able to ejaculate very much and it mostly drips. I’m only 17 but is there anything to worry about?
Answer
I assume you are talking about when you masturbate as it would be difficult to tell if you we having penetrative sex. Most men only produce about a teaspoon (5mls) of ejaculate and it isn't unusual for it come out a little slower sometimes. It doesn't always come out in a spurt. Are you comparing yourself to pornographic films etc? If so, don't, things on these types of films are not always real, it is acting and lots of things are enhanced. I'm quite sure you are normal and as long as the feelings and sensations you are getting are pleasant and pleasurable then stop worrying.
Question (posted December 2009)
Ermm.... When you have sex for the first time is there anyway to make it less painful or to break the hymen quickly?
Answer
Having sex for the first time is not always painful and many girls find the Hymen has already been stretched or broken because of things like sporting activities or using tampons. If you are relaxed and happy, are sure that having sex is really what you want to be doing, the man does not rush things and you both make sure you are well lubricated (use extra lube if needed) then it should be enjoyable. If you are tense, nervous, worried about infection or pregnancy or rushing things, then it may not go so well. First time sex is often not a brilliant experience. It takes time to learn about each others bodies, what feels pleasurable and what doesn't. Good sex is part of a loving stable, trusting relationship. Don't have sex if you are not sure about it, make sure you agree to be able to stop at any time if something isn't going so well and make sure you are protected from pregnancy and infection.
Question (posted December 2009)
I think I have herpes, I have a rash near my vagina and it has been there for about 3 months and I often get an occasional red rash around my mouth too. I don't know what to do?
Answer
This is something you need to get checked out at a Genito Urinary Medicine clinic (GUM clinic). It could very well be something else other than herpes, perhaps candida (thrush) or an allergy for example, but until a nurse or doctor who knows what they are talking about has a look, they won't be able to sort it for you. This has been going on for long enough now, go and get help. You can find out where your nearest clinic is by looking under the clinics section on this website.
Question (posted December 2009)
Do you have to have an adult present at an abortion if your under16? If so does it have to be a relative?
Answer
It will depend entirely upon whether the doctor feels you are mature and capable enough to undergo this procedure on your own and have the capacity to be able to consent to treatment or surgery. Generally speaking though, the younger you are, the more likely it is that you will need someone older with you to give you support before, during and afterwards. It is also not easy to make the arrangements to travel etc on your own, because if you are under 16, you will have to have at least 3 appointments (some of them may be able to be on the same day) and have to get to Maidstone or Canterbury or London. This will depend on how many weeks pregnant you are and how you want the procedure carried out. If they do insist you have an adult with you, it may not need to be a relative. Please go and talk to a nurse or doctor at your nearest Young People's clinic to get some advice and some answers to your questions. You will have to go there or to your GP to get referred anyway.
Question (posted November 2009)
I would like to know what on earth you thought you were doing giving my 11 year old son a pen with information about what to do if the condom splits. This is highly inappropriate information for his age group.
Answer
Thank you for your enquiry. These pens are given out as part of a health education service, in order to inform young people about health issues, including sexual health. Your son would not be in the target group to receive this information so we sincerely apologise for this mistake. We will ensure that staff who work with young people bear this in mind when attending events where they distribute these items. Please contact our office if you would like to discuss this in more detail. Telephone number 01303 228849.
Question (posted November 2009)
For two months my period has been late and that’s not like me. I always mark the date of my period and how many days it lasts for. My period is normal every 28days and last for about 5 days but in October my period was 4 days late which was worrying because I had sex a couple of weeks before but I took a test and 3 of them said no so I thought nothing of it but it is November now and my period is 5 days late. I have also been tested for STIs and they are clear so I don’t know what else it could be, help? x
Answer
There are a number of reasons why a period can be late. You dont say if you are using any contraception, sometimes if it is not being taken properly this can lead to periods being late. Stress can also lead to a late period. I think it would be a good idea if you came to either a family planning clinic or your doctor to have a chat about all the different reasons your period could be late.
Question (posted November 2009)
Just above my clit, the skin has gone really tight, and it is painful when it is touched. I am unable to have sexual contact with my boyfriend because of it, and it’s upsetting him because he thinks he is hurting me. He has been checked for STIs and the results come back all clear. I haven't slept with anyone else so I know I haven't got an STI. What could it possibly be? Please help me!
Answer
It sounds like this needs to be checked out properly and you will need to be examined by a Doctor to find out what is going on. As this is a sensitive and personal area of the body I do appreciate you may want to be seen by a female clinician. They have several lady doctors in the Genito Urinary Medicine service, so if you go to one of these clinics please say you would like to see a female if possible. Genito Urinary Medicine clinics don't just see people who have sexually transmitted infections, but deal with other problems in this area of the body.
Question (posted November 2009)
It’s really painful whilst I’m having sex and after why is this?
Answer
This is almost impossible to answer over the internet. For this type of problem you need to be talking to a nurse or doctor so that they can explore different aspects of why this is happening. They would want to rule out infection, look at the positions you are having sex in, if you are female make sure there is nothing else in the pelvis that might be causing the pain etc. Ask questions about this such as, "has it always been painful?" "Is this new or a different pain?" You need to go and see someone in a clinic or at your doctors.
Question (posted November 2009)
I have just got a new boyfriend and he's 17, I’m only 14. I don't know whether I want to sleep with him, but I have slept with my other ex's and he knows about it, I feel like I'm letting him down, help??
Answer
My take on this is quite clear, if you are not sure then don't. No one should be putting you under pressure to have sex. If they are, then that is not consenting sex and would lead to all sorts of legal and emotional upheaval. There is more than a two year age difference here and you are saying it is a new relationship. What is the hurry? Why aren't you getting to know each other well first? Sex is not compulsory in a relationship, especially when you are young.
At 17 he would be at risk of prosecution by having sex with you as you are under 16, especially if there was pressure or emotional blackmail on his part. (By this I mean trying to make you have sex by making you feel bad or because you have had sex with other boyfriends in the past.) If he is not happy with your decision, then ask yourself if he really cares about you if he is not prepared to wait. You have the right to be valued and respected and to decide when the time is right for you.
Question (posted November 2009)
Will my parent have to know?
Answer
Not absolutely sure what the question relates to, but if it is about coming to a service or having a test or C Card issued, then generally no one will be told. For a 13 to 15 year old the service is confidential unless the professional that the young person sees, feels that they are at risk of harm in some way. If that should be the case, then they will have to talk to someone about what the best way to help and support the young person would be. This may be the same for a 16 year old and above if there were exceptional circumstances. If the young person is 12 or under and is sexually active, then the professional cannot keep that information to themselves, but would need to get advice as to what to do for the best. It doesn't mean in these cases that the parents would be informed, every situation is different.
