If you posted a question to us in the last couple of months then please look below for your answer. If you want to see some of the questions that have previously been answered then click the links below.
Sexually Transmitted Infections
Emergency contraception
Relationships and image
Willy worries
Possibly pregnant?
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
I am a 14 year old boy and I am gay, I would like to know what are the limits of how far something can be inserted anally before it causes damage?
Answer
This would depend upon what is being used for penetration. Anything that may cause trauma by a tear to the anus or the bowel, bruising to any part of the area, or overstretching of the muscle round the anus will be causing damage.
Please remember that sexual activity (gay or straight) is not legal under the age of 16, but you can get advice, condoms and lubricants from the sexual health clinics. If you are under 16 the clinics will need to ask some questions to make sure you are safe and not at risk of harm.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
Does it hurt when you first have sexual intercourse?
Answer
Please see answer below
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
Hi ive just come to a point in my relationship were my boyfriend wants to have a sexual relationship with me, but my worry is all my friends that have already done it say it really hurts I need some information please.
Answer
Having sex for the first time is not always painful and many girls find the Hymen has already been stretched or broken because of things like sporting activities or using tampons. If you are relaxed and happy, are sure that having sex is really what you want to be doing, the man does not rush things and you both make sure you are well lubricated (use extra lube if needed) then it should be enjoyable. If you are tense, nervous, worried about infection or pregnancy or rushing things, then it may not go so well. First time sex is often not a brilliant experience. It takes time to learn about each others bodies, what feels pleasurable and what doesn't. Good sex is part of a loving stable, trusting relationship.
Don't have sex if you are not sure about it, make sure you agree to be able to stop at any time if something isn't going so well and make sure you are protected from pregnancy and infection. If you are this worried about it then I would say you are probably not ready yet.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
What are these pills in a heart shaped case that say www.foryoungpeople.co.uk on it?
Answer
The only thing I can think of is that they are the very small chocolate sweets that were produced as a promotional event around Valentines Day. There are also little tins of mints that are given out. If you are not sure though, throw them away and do not eat them.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
I was wondering can having sex in water, like a bath or swimming pool, damage the insides of a girl ?
Answer
No harm should come from having sex in the water, but you still could fall pregnant or catch an infection if you are not protected. Make sure you keep your head above the water though!!
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
Hi I'm 14 and due to your website I have found out I have phimosis. Thank you for the support your website gives. I am getting a meeting with my GP.
Answer
Thank you so much for letting us know, we are glad that the website helps.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
Do you get a choice of condoms?
Answer
At our family planning clinics, there is a choice of condoms, if you get your condoms through the C Card scheme; the condoms are Durex extra safe. You are very welcome to come to our family planning clinics and register for free condoms.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
Hello, during ejaculation, I feel practically next to nothing. Is that normal or a problem issue? Thanks
Answer
If this is a one off or not usually what happens when you ejaculate, then it is not a problem, sensation can be affected by many things such as state of mind, alcohol or drugs intake or how long it is since you last ejaculated. If it is a common occurrence, and happens often when you ejaculate, then it would be a good idea for you to seek help, you can come to one of our sexual health /GUM clinics to see one of our doctors or you can see your GP.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
I’m worried. A week or so after having intercourse I get a dark brown/black discharge this lasts for 1 week sometimes 2. Is this an S.T.I? Or is it just the way my body re-acts? Btw I’m only 15
Answer
It could be the way your body reacts, but it could be a sign of an infection, it would be a good idea for you to come to one of our GUM/Sexual health clinics to be examined and have some swabs taken.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
It isn't possible for me to pull my foreskin back, how can I get help?
Answer
It could be that your foreskin is too tight; usually it can move back, if you move it gently in the bath or shower for example. If this is not the case, then I suggest you go to your GP for further advice.
NEW Question (posted July 2010)
I would like 2 know if there is any time of the month when taking the pill that u r not protected from pregnancy?, Also I’m on my 3rd day of my 7 day week of bleeding and the bleeding hasn’t started, I had unprotected sex today am I protected? And when do u start getting the first signs of pregnancy? Ta xx
Answer
There are 2 types of pill, there is the combined pill this is the pill that you take at the same time every day, and daily for the whole of the packet (21 pills), then you have 7 days off with no pill taking, this is when you have a bleed. If you don't have a bleed, still restart the pill when you have had 7 days of no pill taking, but come to one of our clinics to see us for advice. KEEP taking the pills though.
The other type of pill is a pill that you take every day with no break e.g Cerazette. With this pill you may get no bleeding or irregular bleeding, there is no break with this pill.
With either pill there are things that can stop the pill working so well, for example some medicines like antibiotics, ST Johns Wort. Upset stomachs and diarrhoea can also stop the pill working so well.
If you are having any of these things mentioned above, then you should use condoms for the whole time you are ill or taking the medicines, and for 7 days afterwards, also if it happens in the last 7 days of your pill packet then you should also carry on with your pills and not have a break this month. All of these things help to stop you getting pregnant.
If you are taking the pill properly with no problems, then it is 99% effective against pregnancy, using condoms as well is extra security.
If you have any other concerns then come to see us in our family planning clinic.
Question (posted July 2010)
I really hate my body, I don’t like doing stuff with boys because I feel fat and have size 36a boobs, its really stressing me out. HELP
Answer
Having a relationship with someone is not about having only a physical relationship. Boys usually like to be friends with a girl. If you don't feel happy with doing stuff with boys, don't do it.
Everyone goes through a period of time when they don't like their body, this is quite normal. Don't feel that you have to do things with boys, just have them as friends; this will be more fun and long lasting than having sex with them, especially when you don't feel happy about it.
Question (posted July 2010)
For the 1st time ever yesterday when I had sex with my partner I experienced afterwards a light brown discharge, quite a bit. Should I be worried? I am on the pill - microgynon 30
Answer
Discharge after sex can be for a number of reasons, it could be the type of sex or it could be a sign that there is a risk of infection. I would recommend that you go to one of our sexual health clinics for a check up, it would also be worth checking that you are taking the pill regularly and correctly, have not had an upset stomach or have taken any other medicines that could interfere with the absorption of the pill. This could be checked at a family planning clinic.
Question (posted July 2010)
Normal condoms are too big for me. I have no problem with this but can I get smaller ones for free? If so where and how? Thanks
Answer
You can get different size condoms - Trim would be worth trying, you can get these free from your local family planning clinic.
Question (posted July 2010)
I had sex with my boyfriend with a condom on and my vagina started to feel like something was in the way, I didn't ask him to stop coz I thought it was my underwear rubbing at the sides seeing as I was fully dressed at the time. We stopped having sex coz he looked down and realised the condom had slipped off and gone inside my vagina, I’ve been taking my pill for ten days now, do you think I would be pregnant? Cheers.
Answer
If all ten days of pills were taken properly with no late pills, no sickness (vomiting) and no other prescribed medicines like antibiotics, then your pill should be covering you for contraception. You might want to get a check up for infection especially a Chlamydia screen.
Question (posted July 2010)
I would like a C Card but am a bit embarrassed to go up to a stranger and ask for free condoms even if they are part of the scheme. Is there any way of getting a card online?
Answer
No, you must be assessed by a trained professional to make sure you have all the sexual health information you need, to ensure you are within the correct age for this scheme and that if you are young that you are safe and not being abused or at risk of harm. Even if you did get a card on line you would still have to come to a clinic to collect the condoms. No one would send free condoms through the post, the postage would cost too much and we would have no idea who we were sending them too.
Question (posted July 2010)
Hi can people still get pregnant if they're on the pill? x
Answer
No contraceptive method is 100% so even with perfect use; the pill is only between 98 - 99% effective depending upon which pill you take. However in the real world, people are not perfect and pills are forgotten or taken late. People miss starting the pill after their week off, take other tablets that may affect it or have tummy upsets when they are sick and then don't use condoms. All of these things can make the pill less effective. The true real effectiveness rate is about 92%. That means that for every 100 women taking the pill for a year up to 8 would fall pregnant. If you want a method of contraception that is better than that you need to use a long acting method like the Implant, IUD (Coil) or injection.
Question (posted June 2010)
Hello, can you get a test for gonorrhoea at a family planning clinic or do you have to go to the doctor? Plz help, an ex has just informed me he had it and knew about it the whole time and never thought to say anything plz help I don’t know what to do.
Answer
The best place to be screened for this and all other Sexually Transmitted Infections would probably be your nearest Genito Urinary Medicine clinic. You can find out where this is by looking under the clinics section on this web site. The service is free and confidential. From your postcode, your nearest GUM clinics will be at Sheppey Community Hospital on a Friday morning or Sittingbourne Memorial Hospital on a Monday late afternoon /evening. The Family Planning clinics in your area cannot send a test for this infection. Of course you can go and see your GP if you want to.
Question (posted June 2010)
With the C Card can you only get plain condoms or can you get others because my boyfriend and I want to experiment with the other types?
Answer
If you go to a young peoples clinic in your area, they will probably be able to give you a wider selection.
Question (posted June 2010)
Hi, I am 18 and I have embarrassed feeling when having sex with my girlfriend because I last only 5 to 10 minutes is this normal?
Answer
You don't say whether the five - ten minutes relates to the whole process of sexual intercourse or just penetration. If it is just penetration then ten minutes is probably normal. Making sex last longer is a skill that is learnt with experience. You are not unusual for a young man to find that he comes too quickly. Make sure you enjoy and take your time with the other parts of lovemaking before you move on to the penetration bit. There are some condoms available that are designed to slow down the ejaculation part of sex as they have a little bit of local anaesthetic in them. I haven't any researched evidence about how well they work though.
Question (posted June 2010)
If u toss a boy off then he cums while you have sex can he cum again??
Answer
Yes
Question (posted June 2010)
My boyfriends penis is huge and I gave him oral sex but I feel too small down there to let him have sex I am ready just concerned it will hurt what can I do??? Thanks
Answer
You don't say whether you have had sex in the past or not so have something to compare with. Whilst penis's can be different sizes when they are flaccid there is not a huge difference when they are erect. The vagina can accommodate most penis's, after all a baby can get out of the womb through it.
If you do decide to have penetrative sex then, he needs to be gentle and take his time, you need to be well lubricated and he needs to stop if you find it uncomfortable. Some sexual positions may be better than others. Make sure you are using condoms and don't be rushed into anything you don't really want to do. Maybe you are not ready to have sex at all yet?
Question (posted June 2010)
My ex girlfriend has just contacted me and told me that she has been to the doctors today and been told that she has genital warts. She is the only person I have had sex with in the past year, and I believe that the same for her. We last had sex 3 weeks ago and it was unprotected sex. Would should I do?
Answer
If you haven't noticed any lumps or bumps then there would be nothing to treat at the moment. However if you have had unprotected sex then you could be at risk of them developing in the future. If so, go to a Genito Urinary Medicine clinic for treatment. It is a good idea to go and have a check up anyway, as a third of people who have one STI also have another one as well that they are not aware of.
Question (posted June 2010)
I'm 16 and so is my boyfriend, we are each others first partners, neither of us have had sex with anyone else, we've had sex a few times, but for me ( the girl) it is still extremely painful, enough to make me cry and so now I don't want to do it. We use condoms and lube and I’m on the pill. Is it something I need to get used to? Or is there something it could be? I really want it to get better, but don't know how to stop it hurting. Thanks
Answer
If something is this painful then I think you need to talk to someone about it. If you continue to have sex when you don't want to because you are worried it may hurt then the anxiety and the tenseness will not help. Stop having actual sexual intercourse at the moment. There are lots of other loving and sexy things you and your boyfriend can do. I'm sure he will understand while this gets sorted.
Then I suggest you go and see either your GP or if you don't want to do that, a Doctor who works for the Contraception service at Newington Road Clinic, Ramsgate at the evening clinic on a Wednesday 6-8pm or a Thursday 5-7pm. It is a walk in clinic and you may get to see a nurse first. You may need to be examined, but the doctors there are all lady doctors. If after talking to them they feel you need any further help, then they will be able to guide you to the right place and refer you if needed. It may be nothing is wrong and it will just take a bit of time, but it needs sorting not leaving.
Question (posted June 2010)
Hi, I’m 16 and have this wired kind of bleeding.
I went to the loo Thursday after my exam and thought I had just came on but it wasn't heavy and the colour was also very light. I went home and there was no more bleeding but after every time I wipe there like a pinky red colour and it’s on and off. I am also on the pill which I only began taking again 3weeks ago. Could that be the reason??
Answer
It could well be what is called "Breakthrough bleeding" which does sometimes happen during the first month or two of taking the pill. With some progesterone only pills like Cerazette this often happens in the early months. It is also important to have a test for Chlamydia because light spotting is also a sign that you might have this infection. If that is all clear and it doesn't get better, go back and tell the nurse or doctor where you got your pills so that they can advise you.
Question (posted June 2010)
Hi I’m a 16 yr old girl and I don’t get much pleasure thru sex. I feel like I don’t please my boyfriend coz I cant deep throat and I don’t get much pleasure thru sex so I’m not very enthusiastic about it, can u give me some ideas on how I can find more pleasure and what guys find sexy so I can try some new things :) Ta xx
Answer
This is a web site for answering sexual health questions and it is not appropriate to answer your query here. This is something that is best talked about between you and your boyfriend in private as to what you and he both feel is sexy. This will be different for different people.
What does worry me though is that you seem to be saying it is all about what gives him pleasure. What about you, perhaps you don't like it very much because your partner doesn't take his time to make sure that sex is enjoyable for you. It may be that you are both young and are still learning about what is pleasurable. As long as this relationship is loving and you trust and respect each other, then take your time, don't be pushed into sex or sexual acts if you don't want to and talk to each other about what you both enjoy.
Question (posted June 2010)
I'm fifteen and I've recently gone on the pill Yasmin and I started taking it the first day of my period, I’ve been on the pill for thirteen days now and I’m still heavily bleeding and my usual periods don't even last that long. I have eight pills left in my pack and I want to know when I will actually come of my period or if this problem is going to be constant??? :(
Answer
Just occasionally people seem to bleed all the way through the first month of taking the pill. Nothing is wrong and all though it can be a nuisance, keep taking the pills as normal. It almost always stops after you have had your first week off the pill and re start your second month. If it carries on after the second pack then you need to go back to the doctor or nurse who gave you the pills to discuss what to do next.
Question (posted June 2010)
Can I just be medically examined at the foster street clinic??
Answer
Foster Street clinic in Maidstone runs clinics for contraception and tests for some sexually transmitted infections like Chlamydia. Other health services may be run from there as well, but this site can only answer queries relating to Sexual Health. At the Contraceptive clinic the staff will make medical assessments regarding sexual health by asking questions, taking weight and blood pressure, but may not be able to examine people who have symptoms of infection. You should go to a Genito Urinary Medicine clinic for that type of examination. If you are looking for a medical check up for other health queries you should visit your GP.
Question (posted June 2010)
Hi I am a 15 year old guy, and my 16 year old girlfriend gave me oral sex recently, and since then I have had 3 lumps on my penis on the foreskin just below the glands penis, they have been there 6 days now. It started off painful but the next day it was painless and it is slowly reducing in swelling, there is no colour change just swelling and one small firm lump. Should I be concerned?
Answer
It is always best to get anything unusual checked out. Go to your nearest genitor urinary medicine clinic. It is free and confidential.
Question (posted June 2010)
My girlfriend is pregnant and she wants to have an abortion, how do I talk to her as all we do is shout and she cries loads. I want to talk to her about it but she says it’s her decision, I feel I don’t matter and whatever I say is wrong.
Answer
I'm sorry you are having a hard time, please be understanding that whatever shock and disbelief you are feeling will be magnified several times over for your girlfriend. Her body is already responding to physical changes and massive emotions due to changes of hormone levels. Hang on in there and continue to try and support her. Maybe she needs time to think about things first before she is ready to discuss and talk about it.
You seem to be saying that you might want her to keep this baby and while of course it is your baby, it is her body. She will be the one that will have to go through 9 months of pregnancy, labour and the birth and however supportive you are, it will be her life that will changed to a greater extent than yours. This baby will become dependant on both of you for many, many years to come, both financially and emotionally. Your girlfriend may well not feel able to do that now. Whatever plans she had for her immediate future, career and life, will be so much harder if she has a baby. Of course a lot of young people have babies and do a brilliant job of being a parent. I'm just saying that it is much harder when you are young and may have money worries etc.
Ideally your girlfriend will be able to sort out what she wants to do for the best and that may well depend upon how much she feels supported, (not pushed) in her decision by you and family and friends. Of course you matter, but if she decides she does not want to carry on with the pregnancy, that will be between her and the doctor that she sees. At the end of the day it will be her decision. She is the person who is pregnant. Continue to let her know you care about her even if at the moment she is giving you a hard time.
Question (posted June 2010)
My last period was late and only lasted 2-3 days, is there something wrong?
Answer
If it was very light and a normal period for you would be a lot longer or heavier and you feel you might have been at risk of falling pregnant then I should just check with a Pregnancy Test. If you are using any form of hormonal contraception then people often notice a change in the period cycle and nothing is wrong as long as you have been using the contraception properly.
