So you are pregnant - What happens now?
If you have just found out that you are pregnant and are unsure about your options click here to go to the 'I'm pregnant what do I do?' page.
If you have decided to continue with the pregnancy then this page is for you. Scroll down the page for the information or click the links below to jump to the section you want.
Breaking the news
The thought of telling your family and friends you are pregnant can be very scary but the sooner you do it the better, they will find out anyway in the end and it is a very big secret to keep to yourself. Hiding your pregnancy could also mean missing out on the medical care and support which is so important for both you and your baby. Once you have broken the news you should feel better, and people can begin to support you.
How will he feel?
Telling the father is very important, sometimes girls say I am scared to tell him, he might finish with me. If he does, good riddance to him!! If the pregnancy is unplanned the baby’s dad may go through all the same emotions as you, he may feel:
Scared
Shocked
Angry
Trapped
That he wants nothing to do with you or the baby
Or that he wants to be involved in everything
It may take him a few days to get used to the idea just as you did.
Top Tips
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Tell everyone as quickly as possible they will find out soon enough
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Choose a time to tell people when they can sit down and listen – not when they are on their way to work or rushing somewhere
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If you feel scared of someone’s reaction when you tell them- arrange to meet them in a public place this may stop them being too angry
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If you really cant face them then you could write it down and show them
Now what?
The most important thing to do now is to book in with the midwife, you can do this at your doctor's (GP) surgery, you do not have to see the doctor unless you want to. Your first appointment should be at about 10 weeks; this is called your booking in appointment. From now until your baby is born all the care you are given will be called antenatal care – this just means before baby care.
You need to do this as early as possible as your first scan is arranged for when you are 12 weeks pregnant, at this scan you will be able to get a scan picture of your developing baby at this stage.
If there is anything you would like to discuss in further detail, please ring one of the numbers below (whichever is closest to where you live) and ask to speak to a midwife.
Maternity Services East Hospital NHS Trust
Questions and Answers
Q. I am too scared to tell my mum I am pregnant but know it’s important to get checked out by the midwife – will she tell her?
A. All medical staff provide confidential treatment – this means they can help you without telling your parents or carers, they will always try to persuade you to tell someone but they will not insist. If the doctor or midwife thought you were in danger or at risk of harm, they would have to involve your parents but they would talk to you about it first however this rarely happens.
Q. I am 17 and I lived with my boyfriend and his parents, when I told my boyfriend I was pregnant he broke up with me and now I am living with my friend in her living room. I am worried my baby will be taken away from me, what shall I do?
A. You need to get some support. Your baby will not be taken from you for that reason but it is important that you find a place to live comfortably with your baby. At the moment you are considered homeless by the government and will be seen as a priority need because you are pregnant. You need to tell your midwife or doctor who will give you a letter to take to the council who will help. You can also ring Shelter who can give you help and advice (helpline 0808 800 4444).
Q.I have just done a pregnancy test and it is positive, I can’t believe it, I have only had sex once. I haven’t stopped crying since I found out. I don’t think I want to keep the baby but I am scared to tell anyone incase they think I am horrible. What can I do?
A. Lots and lots of women feel like you when they first find out they are pregnant. Some chose to end the pregnancy and some chose to continue with it. The only person who can make that choice is you. A good place to go to have a chat with someone is your local contraception and sexual health clinic, all the staff here are trained to work with young people and will not judge you or make you feel bad. They will do another pregnancy test just to make sure and they will listen to you and will be able to refer you to the appropriate place once you have made your choice.
Midwives
Midwives are trained to provide the best possible care and advice for you and your baby during your pregnancy and for the first few days after birth. At your first appointment with the midwife approximately 10 weeks into the pregnancy (sometimes called 'booking in') you will be asked for details about your health.
You will be provided with information about pregnancy such as ultrasound scans, diet and lifestyle choices, support groups as well as information about the birth. You can attend the appointment by yourself or with a friend or partner. Again midwives will keep what you say confidential. In many parts of Kent there are midwives with responsibility for teenage parents. Where this service is available your own midwife will ask for your permission to pass your details on so the teenage pregnancy midwife can get in touch and give you extra support if you need it. If you are worried and wish to speak to a midwife contact your local doctor’s surgery who will put you in touch.
Health Visitors
Once your baby is born your local health visiting team will be in contact with you regardless of your age to offer help and support on all aspects of health for you and your baby.
Contact may be in a group setting through young parent groups or on a one to one basis during a home visit or at the baby clinic. They aim to build a trusting, respectful and non judgmental relationship with you. Health visitors are good listeners and work with all kinds of different professionals to support young mums and dads; they can refer you on for more specialist advice if needed or help you find local services and support.
Young Parents and Education
If you become pregnant whilst still at school you will be expected to continue to attend for as long as possible into the pregnancy. Arrangements can be made for a reduced timetable and time off to attend antenatal appointments. Usually a school age pregnant student would attend her school until 9 weeks before the expected birth date of her child.
During those 9 weeks she would continue to receive educational support in either home tuition or work sent home by the school. She would then be expected to resume her studies 9 weeks after the birth of the baby. The Education and Welfare Service will work with your school to ensure your education is not disrupted and that the many opportunities available through continuing your education remain open to you. If you have any queries about the above you can either contact your local Education and Welfare Officer through the school or contact The Reintegration Service.
